Ten Things I Learned in the 2010s
January 6, 2020
This time of year is messy and crazy and chaotic and beautiful. New things are beginning, but old thins are still hanging around. There is a funny overlap.
My planner has the first week of January in it and the last week of December is in my new planner for 2020. It’s a strange overlap forcing the choice between finishing the year strong or to start the fresh start a little early. I am usually too excited to finish the year, but this year I am finishing a whole decade.
When 2010 came around I don’t remember thinking much of it. I was half way through my freshman year of high school at a new school and was more worried about what was stuck in my braces and what make up I was going to wear than the close of the decade. As this decade closes, though, I am in a little different spot. A lot has changed in the past year let along ten. I remember being in kindergarten and getting my “class of 2013” t-shirt in an adult-size small and thinking that day would never come and that I would never fit in that big shirt.
Spiritual health is so important. – Spiritual health touches every other bit of health. If spiritual health is in check then it is much more likely that mental and emotional health is in check and if those are in check it is much more likely that physical health is in check as well. Everything stems from the spirit, why start anywhere else?
It is so important to be nice and friendly. – I have not only gained so many sweet opportunities because I was nice and friendly, but I have also had the experience to know and love people because of it. I have worked in customer service for a long time, and there are people I would never have been able to know had I been rude or distant from them.
Reading is important. – Okay, this is not just for academics, but let me just get on that soap box for a second. I do not like reading textbooks. Quite frankly, they are boring and fluffy. But they are so important. Not only will you learn more, but where your time is so there your effort is. If there is no effort into reading the material there is no effort in the self teaching of the material. Okay, I’m off the box. It is also just a lot of fun to read for fun. It is peaceful and you’re able to escape for a little while. That is, if you pick the right books. I tried to read a book this autumn because it had all these awards and got about half way through it, but it was so boring. It just wasn’t a book I could get into.
Just because you’re passionate about something doesn’t mean that’s your life calling.- I was 100% sure I was going to do something with art or music because that is what I am good at. While I am starting to get back into art, it has taken me time to work up the courage to keep creating. Even then, I am not making a career out of it.
The presence of talent in others doesn’t mean there is an absence of talent in you. ( read that again ) – I have an issue with comparison. I compare myself with other artists – do I understand the color like these artists do, do I have a style like these artists do, can I make something look as lifelike as these artists do – I compare myself to other singers – do I have as much control as these other singers, do I handle the stage like these other singers – and so on and so on. Just because someone else is talented doesn’t mean you’re not. I need to tell myself that daily.
Comparison truly is the thief of joy. – I have had such a problem, especially in the past decade, with comparison. Comparison is such an issue in the age of social media. We can see all the things we are “supposed to be” and therefore see all the things we are not. I was just at a social gathering the other day and I overheard friends of mine looking at a girls Instagram and looking more and more sad, like she had something they didn’t. Turns out it was mine. Funny thing was that the picture they were talking about was one of probably 20 that I had taken and I was turning my head in a certain super-cute-super-intentional way because I had a small bump on my cheek that I had picked at until I left a bruise. It’s hard because we only see the highlight reel. And I need to remind myself of this daily. This is just their highlight reel; this is not their everyday life.
Blessings come in all shapes and sizes. – So, my parents are divorced. They have been since I was about five. This has been one of my greatest blessings. A couple years ago I had one of the most disappointing summers of my life and I ended up growing close to a girl that is now my best friend.
Not every friendship is meant to last forever. – Being everyone’s friend is great. Being able to bounce from one social circle to another is fantastic, but when it gets to the point that a group, or even an individual, is becoming an issue it needs to end. When I was in high school I switched schools a lot. There was a girl that I had been best friends with in middle school that I was fully convinced was going to be in my wedding and holding my babies and my best friend forever. Granted, we all think this to an extent when we have a bond with someone, but I way over romanticized the friendship that we had. She was a wonderful friend and I am so glad that we were close for the time that we were, but the moment it ended it crashed and burned and hurt everyone in its wake. I still feel the ripples of its boom in friendships I have today. It was a blessing, at the time, to no longer be friends with her because it had become something toxic and controlling. We both grew from it and learned so much about friendship and loyalty, but it sure hurt.
There is a difference between being a big dreamer and having big dreams. – I am 100% okay with not being the most successful one in the family, or the biggest house on the block or the shiniest car in the parking lot. I am not super materialistic and that is something that I love about myself. That being said, though, I do expect to love where I am living, what I am doing and who I am spending time with. And that when I am not at work that I love the space that I live in, and that it feels like home and is full of art and candles and coziness. And that my time will be spent with people I love living in peace. Maybe that is dreaming big.
Rhythms and consistency are wonderful things. – When I was in college I used to wake up by my first alarm everyday and do and put on a song – very quietly so that my roommates couldn’t hear- and do abs for a the length of the song. After that I would get ready for the day, but that had to happen before I did anything else. I used to think I was a “fly by the seat of my pants” kind of girl. I am not. I thrive in repetition. This is so that other things can be – and will be – crazy and I am still able to keep my peace. Having habits can be such a sweet thing that can bring so much freedom. If things are planned out and thought through beforehand then the act of following through is easy and seamless, but if the time and effort isn’t out in ahead of time it is all going to fall through. Going back to my abs example, I can’t tell you how many heavy projects I carried across campus and how much balance that took. If I didn’t put that effort in every morning to make sure that my core was strong then when it came time to carry my sail of a painting across campus I would have gone flying.
The 2010’s taught me so much and I am so excited to see what the roaring twenties will bring.
