Paw
October 3, 2024
Her paw caught on the leash as they walked through the neighborhood, but she didn’t care, she was just happy to be there, with her person. Garrett has been in her life for three years, and she had never been happier. Granted, she didn’t remember much before him, the pain had numbed her mind to The Before, but she knew that she loved life now, and that Garrett never caused her pain. He lovingly looked down at her and fixed her paw so that she would be able to walk freely. His touch was always so gentle with her, it felt like he knew her past better than she did, and had so much patience for her. Even when she would bark at the delivery man, or cower when his friends came over, he was still so ready and willing to love her. That was something she knew she didn’t have before him. She wasn’t sure how she knew, she just knew.
As she licked his face, she could tell it was saltier than usual, and searched his face for some sign of pain. His eyes were watering and she could feel his heart aching. With a wiggle, she moved closer to him and climbed into his arms the best she could, from the strange angle he was in, leaning down toward her on the sidewalk. Garrett deepened his squat so that he could wrap his arms around her and she could feel his breath catch. She didn’t really know why, but she knew that he had gotten more fragile lately, and she had to be gentle with him too. Just last month, she had been excited to see him when he got home and she nearly knocked him over. It was only then that she realized that he had been weakening lately, slowly, but surely, and that she had been blind to it because he was still his happy self. Not that day. He smelled a little funny, too. She had decided that it was her turn to be gentle with him.
With his arms wrapped around her, and her head on his chest, she could tell that something was wrong. They had taken this walk, to Garrett’s moms house, many times in the past three years, and it was a path she could walk in the dead of night with her nose plugged, but it felt completely new today. It felt as though they were walking it the first time. She tried to pull away so she could get a better sniff of him, but his hold was tight, and she knew better than to try to wriggle away. This felt like a goodbye hug, and not like when she went to stay with Garretts mom last year when he went on a work trip.
“You are going to have to stay with grandma for a bit.” she heard him say through raged breathing. “ I need you to be a good girl.” she wiggled with these words, knowing them well coming from his mouth. She would never tire of hearing that from him. “ I am sick and not getting better. My mom offered to take care of you, and I know you love her, so I figured this would be better than being stuck with me not being able to walk you.” She loved the Garrett talked to her like a person. She didn't quite understand what he was saying, but she loved hearing his low, soothing voice.
He grabbed her leash and continued down the block, slowly making his way past the laws they walked past many times a week. The got to the house with the blue door and she ran up to it, excitedly whimpering for Garrett to let her in. Just a moment later, the door swung open and out came his mom, tears rolling down her cheeks and arms outstretched for her son.
