Dreams and the Lack of Ability to Make Them Come True

January 8, 2025

My dream job has changed so many times over the course of my life, that I am not sure what I would even tell you if you were to ask what I wanted to be when I was little. There was, like most young dancers, the ballerina phase. Then there was also the horse trainer phase ( forever a horse girl ). There was the English teacher, the pop star, the special effects make up artist, the psychologist, the artist and so on and so on and so on. And honestly, there are a lot of those I think I would have actually liked had I stuck to that path when I was younger, but I don’t have much of an interest in leaning into them now. I am not sure if that makes sense, but I do think that I would have been happy, even if it doesn’t fill my every thought the way that it did when I was younger.

Just this morning, I found a listing for a beautiful book store that was for sale in the most perfect little small town, and this little shop has everything that I want. I have a new dream. I now dream to be a book shop owner and author. I dream of living in the small apartment over the shop and filling it with paintings from my own hand. I dream of Eli having a space where he could tutor the kids from the local school, and maybe get back into coaching soccer, if the school has a team. I dream of Lani running around the little garden out back and having a little table out there where I can sit and read before the shop opens. I dream of growing things that I can eat and admire. I dream of opening a little coffee bar in the back of the shop so that people can sip on yummy coffee while they are finding their new favorite book. I dream of a little shed out back where I can make art and write a book.

I am not sure this will ever come to be, but now I have something that I know that I want, and something I feel like I can work towards. I have often been frustrated by my lack of dreams and lack of direction, and for once, I feel like I have direction. Now, we will probably not get this property ( stay tuned ), but I have something to base some dreams off of.

Also, if any of you are small business owners and have wisdom to share with me, I would love to hear from you. While this dream is fresh, the bits and pieces of it have been in the working for a long time, I just didn’t know the all of them could come together to form one big dream. I mean, just look at my pinterst for goodness sake. I have had boards on similar things since high school.