Backpack

October 26, 2024

Nancy could hear his voice from down the hall before she could see him. His laugh was radiant and booming. The butterflies took flight in the pit of her stomach, and she tried to act like she didn’t hear him coming. She couldn’t act like she liked him too much, or people would talk. They had agreed to having a secret romance, and it wouldn’t be very secret if everyone knew she was in love with him. He didn’t even know that. As cooly as she could, she gathered the rest of the notebooks from her locker and slid them into her backpack, and looked at James out the corner of her eye, trying to gage when she could shut her locker in time to run into him. Yesterday she missed her chance, and felt silly seeing the back of his curly head bouncing down the hall, talking to his friends. Today would be the day. Today she would get it right and run into him and drop her books so they could have a moment alone as they gathered her notes, like they did in the movies. Okay, it was now or never. She turned as quickly as she could, in order to make it believable that her books wood go flying, and ran right into his chest, dropping her books dramatically.

“James! I am so sorry, I didn’t see you there!” Nancy gasped theatrically, kneeling to the ground to pick up her math book that was sprawled on the ground.

“Nancy! It is me who should be sorry. Let me help you.” His buttery voice responds, as he blindly grabs for papers on the floor, looking deeply in Nancy’s eyes. His finger tips brushed the back of her hand and it felt like she was on fire. Her cheeks, undoubtably, became the color of tomato soup and she could hardly tear her eyes away from his knees. She got so little time with him at school, but she was still so nervous around him that making eye contact was almost painful.

“Thank you, James, I appreciate your help.” Nancy could hardly squeak out as he slowly stood up with her book in his arms.

“Of course, it’s the least I could do.” He said, warmly touching her shoulder as he handed her the book, now filled with her disorganized notes. She was for sure going to have to ask for his help reorganizing them later. There was no way she could look up at him, not while he was touching her shoulder in the hall. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?” he asked, still playing the part, but she could hear some real concern in his voice.

“I’m okay, thank you, James.” Nancy brushed the hair behind her ear and rushed off without making eye contact, feeling defeated and embarrassed about how obvious she made her crush. She would have to apologize when he came over later that evening. She knew she was messing it up for the both of them. Nancy had never had a boyfriend, and now that she had one, she didn’t really knew how to act around him. When they had just been friends, she didn’t have to worry about it, it wasn’t until the crush started developing that she became nervous around him. They had known each other since they were children, why did this have to happen now? They had been friends for years and years, why couldn’t she act like she had always acted around him? Why was love so hard?